Have you missed me?

My Grandma was a widow for 25 years and never remarried.  That is so long!  A few years before she died, I asked her how she did it.  How she could sleep alone night after night for so many years without exploding from fear or loneliness!  She did not hesitate and told me that the key was to go to bed with HAPPY THOUGHTS.  She said that she never watched the news, listened to sad music or read heavy stories before going to bed.  Instead, she would watch David Letterman or Jay Leno and then go straight to bed while still GIGGLING.  I knew right away that she had given me a time-tested survival tip and tucked her wisdom away for a rainy day!

Then, last year as the affects of the recession began to surface around me, I started to experience a lot of anxiety.  It seemed as though everywhere I turned, bad news had planted itself right in my path.  Times had changed and life started to feel HEAVY, especially at NIGHT!  Night after night, I would toss and turn as I struggled to exchange the worries of the day for the serenity of sleep.  It seemed that as I got more and more tired, my fears and worries became more and more overwhelming.  It was a pretty exhausting cycle.

Finally late one night (or was it early one morning), while I sat in my family room waiting for my ever familiar anxiety attack to go away, I started to think about Grandma and the brilliant advice she had given  me years before.  Somehow I had allowed all of the negative aspects of life get me down when really I just needed to find my HAPPY.  So, as soon as my racing heart slowed down and I regained feeling in my fingertips, I got busy.

Over the next several months, I decided to give myself a vacation from the media and  I completely stopped listening to the news.  (Except for the weather and People magazine, of course!  Those don't count!)  Although it was a little extreme, I have to say that IGNORANCE was BLISS!  I needed the break.

But then, since I wouldn't follow the news, I started to read blogs.  All sorts of blogs.  But I was mostly drawn to blogs written by Mothers.  It was a nice distraction to read about the lives of other woman, most of whom I had never met.  But, after a while, even that started to bother me.  Reading about everyone elses perfect children, charming husbands and spotless refrigerators (with pictures included) started to make me realize that that wasn't really helping the cause either.  So, one day as I tried to figure out what my next step towards SANITY would be, I decided that rather than focusing on the lives and events of strangers (in the news and on blogs), I needed to focus on my own...crusty refrigerator and all! 

The idea of starting a blog was a little overwhelming and made me nervous.  But knowing that I would most likely type posts at night, I figured that it would be a great opportunity for me to put my Grandma's advice to work.  But rather than focusing on the humor of Late Night TV hosts, I would focus on the humor of my own life.  That decision changed my entire focus.  Rather than just posting about the everyday happenings of my life, I decided to watch for and notice the fun, amusing and unusual experiences around me.  I wanted my posts to not only make me LAUGH, but to also entertain any poor reader who wandered this way. The more and more I wrote, the happier I was becoming.  Writing was therapy!

For months this blog was a really fun adventure for my family as well.  I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun my kids were having with it.  It seemed to UNITE us.  As we went about our day, it was not unusual for them to bring me the camera and say, "Mom, look how funny this is.  Hurry and take a picture for your blog."  Or they would tell me a happy story about each other and say, "Wouldn't that be good to put in your blog?"  It was really fun and unexpected.

But then something happened.  Once school started, life seemed to get heavy.  Is it just me, or are things just depressing right now?  I swear, and I kid you not, it seems like every single day I hear some sort of bad news. Not national news, but news that personally is related to me!   "This friend just lost their job and can't find another!" or "This super healthy friend just dropped dead from a heart attack during a bike race!"  or "This friend is moving far, far away because the people in their town suck!"  or "This friend's in the hospital with their sick baby!"  or  "This friend just had a miscarriage!"  or "This friend just got a death threat!"  (FOR REAL?!?  Who gets death threats in America?  That is so Mexico!!!) ...and that's just a sampling of what's been going on!
I am SCREAMING OUT LOUD IN MY HEAD right now!

As you can tell, I seem to have once again misplaced my HAPPY.  Many, many nights I have sat down to write a post only to shut off my computer because I can't think of a single happy-hearted event that has happened.  It's tragic that I've lost my focus!  But, do NOT panic.  I am determined to stop letting the reality of life dominate my happiness and start looking for the funny and pleasant tender mercies that are sprinkled all around me.  I owe it to myself..and amazing Grandma!