And here we go again!

Yesterday, Jim invited a few friends over to help him with a backyard project that's proven to be too big for him to finish on his own.  (Well, actually, he could finish it on his own but Jim is WAY to social to work alone.  It's torture for him.  If he could, he would buy a two-seater lawnmower so that he wouldn't have to ride around mowing alone.  Somehow having somebody to share the torture with makes work seem more fun to him!  But that's another story in and of itself.)

Regardless, I was not aware that friends were coming over to help until half way through lunch when Jim saw them drive up.  Without warning, he jumped up and started whooping and hollering about seeing his friends.  It was quite exciting!  While they chit-chatted on the back porch, I went out and asked if they would like some lunch.  Of course, they were dying for my cooking (pure sarcasm right there!) so I asked O'Neill to come in to help me serve it up! 

As I filled each plate, I had O'Neill walk it out and serve our guests.  Then, not remembering how many plates I had sent out, I asked O'Neill who he had served and how many more plates I needed to prepare.  O'Neill tried to remember.  I could see the cogs crankin' in his head.  He started to count and stammer a bit as he tried to remember every one's names and who he had given what to.  Finally, he gave up and just said,

 "I can't remember Mom, THEY'RE POOR!"

"WHA....T?"  Oh horror!  My entire being froze!  "O'Neill!"  I gasped, with each eye bulging more and more as every ounce of air drained from my lungs!  "Why would you say something like that?  That's horrible!  Where did that come from?"  O'Neill stared at me with a blank look on his face.  No remorse whatsoever!  Oh dread!  That made it even worse! 

In my head, I scrambled to find the right parental way to handle this travesty!  What should I say?  What should I do?  Oh heaven help me!  Did our guests hear?  Oh anguish!  Then, right there, in a mega-milla-second time span I decided that I'd better go big on this one so that it would never happen again.  So away I went, all June Cleaverish, with my cute green apron on and my hands on my hips, finger waggin' away about how it's not right to judge people and that different people choose to spend their money in different ways, and that I guarantee they're richer than he is and it's none of his business and... blah! blah! blah!"  I think I may have even ended with the "What would Jesus think?" finale to pack the final punch!  

Then I paused...out of breathe! 

O'Neill didn't move.  His expression didn't change!  He just stared at me!  "Good", I thought, "hopefully he's learned his lesson and will never say anything like that ever-again-in-his-life!"  Then I waited...never breaking eye contact (it's crucial never to break eye contact)! 

I think O'Neill could sense that I wanted some sort of reaction because he finally broke the awkward silence by saying,

"Uhm Mom!  I said

THERE'S FOUR not THEY'RE POOR!" 

Then, he gave me this cute little smile as if to say, "Yep, You're nuts!" and grabbed the next plate and walked  outside.

Uh...really?!?  All I can say is that I long for the day that I process things mentally rather than verbally!  Oh, come on!