Last month, I got deathly ill!
After five days of horrid misery, I was diagnosed with
a sinus infection, an ear infection and Bronchitis
all at once!
all at once!
My lovely Dr. gave me lots of yummy medicine...
including steroids!
(I know! Just what every 6'0 woman needs!)
But before being cured,
I was super, duper, horribly congested!
It caused serious problems with my hearing
and
even bigger problems with my BETTER JUDGEMENT!
Let me explain...
On day #3 of my misery,
I woke up and decided that I was all better!
It was a Saturday.
Regardless of the fever and incredible body aches,
I woke up and decided that I was all better!
It was a Saturday.
Regardless of the fever and incredible body aches,
I was tired of being sick and had Mothering to do!
So up I went!
The day began with a trip to the kids school
for a special Saturday event called
"March Math-ness!"
Normally, I would drop the kids off
The day began with a trip to the kids school
for a special Saturday event called
"March Math-ness!"
Normally, I would drop the kids off
but being the PTA President extraordinaire that I am,
I thought it would be good PR to mill around and talk with my peeps!
(Even if I was about to contaminate them all with a major illness
that in all fairness, I didn't realize I had!)
I thought it would be good PR to mill around and talk with my peeps!
(Even if I was about to contaminate them all with a major illness
that in all fairness, I didn't realize I had!)
There were over 200 kids in the auditorium
moving from center to center.
moving from center to center.
It was a mathematical extravaganza of sorts
and it was loud!
I didn't hesitate and worked the crowd like a pro!
and it was loud!
I didn't hesitate and worked the crowd like a pro!
The only problem was that
I couldn't hear ANYTHING that ANYBODY was saying!
I couldn't hear ANYTHING that ANYBODY was saying!
Not just because of the kid noise but because I was so painfully congested!
My head felt like a pressure cooker ready to BLOW!
But being the martyr that I am,
I stayed!
(You're welcome peeps!)
As fatigue began to set in,
I noticed that O'Neill's center was near some seating.
I needed a rest, so I went and sat down next to another woman.
I recognized her from around school
but had never formally introduced myself.
"Hi!" I said in my usual friendly way!
She said "Hi" back
but with that kind of
"Oh, please don't talk to me"
body language that is impossible to miss.
I respected her silence... for a minute
but when that got boring
I asked her if she was a teacher or a parent?
"I'm a parent!" she said.
"Oh, who's your child?" I asked.
Her response surprised me!
Through the chaos of mumbled sound in my head, I heard her say...
"The girl with the FIN!"
Confused, I looked in the direction she was pointing!
At the end of the bench sat a girl from O'Neill's grade.
I call her "Khloe with a K"
We became friends when I was selling
Candy-grams as a fundraiser.
I had helped her fill out her grams
because she has some sort of defect with her right hand.
Actually, the defect is that she doesn't have a right hand.
Her arm is normal
but instead of a hand, her arm tapers down to a point.
Like one big finger.
I thought to myself...
Wow! How cool is that?
Here is a Mom who flat out owns her child's disability.
That takes incredible strength to just call it as it is...a FIN!
I have had friends in the past with children
who have had disabilities
and one common complaint that they have
is that people either treat them differently
or just ignore them altogether!
Both being equally painful!
So, I have learned to respectfully
follow the parents lead
and be open about disabilities!
In this case, I was super impressed
with this Mom's frankness
and felt like I should follow her lead
by letting her know that
I too was comfortable with her daughter's "fin".
So, innocently, with my head tilted to the side
and with a genuine smile on my face,
I repeated...out loud...with sound...
EXACTLY what I had heard her say,
"Oh! The girl with the FIN?"
For a split second, time froze!
Then, with eyes bulging and
veins popping from her temples,
the woman turned to me with a look of utter
SHOCK and AWE!
It was at that very moment that
I realized that I had indeed misheard her!
But it was too late!
There was no turning back!
From somewhere deep within her protective soul,
came a low, grumbling sound of total disgust...
"W-H-A-T?"
I couldn't breathe!
It felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs
"what?"
I whimpered,
sounding something like a seal being run over by a freight train!
In a surreal moment, the whole situation played back in my head.
I frantically scrambled as I realized the incredible error I had just made.
Innocently I asked,
"Did... did you just say the girl at the END?"
"Yes!" she snapped.
"What did you think I said?"
Well obviously she knew what I thought she said
because I said it back...
verbally, out loud, with sound coming from my mouth!
Then it started!
Against my better judgement
but without the ability to stop,
I proceeded with my ridiculous habit of
hyper-talking!
"I don't know what I heard! I'm congested! In fact, I shouldn't really be here. I'm sick! I have a fever! I should have really stayed home..."
She leaned away from me.
I continued...
"Oh...is your daughter Khloe with a K?
I have a Chloe but with a C.
She's in 5th grade
which is probably good because it would be
confusing to have too many
Chloe's in one grade... together.
Right? No? OK! Ha! Ha!
I met your Khloe with a K
doing the candy grams.
Did I mention that I'm PTO President?
Yeah! No? Ok! Uhm..."
All I can say,
is that there is absolutely nothing more humiliating
than having a person look at you
like you are a complete moron!
(Believe me, I know!)
At this point
My heart was racing,
I had the cold sweats and my ears were ringing...
The pressure was too intense!
Why did I get out of bed?
Exhausted, I stopped
and waited for something to save me!
Finally, out of total mercy,
she broke her death stare and looked away!
I was grateful.
I took a deep breathe and tried to regroup.
Then I turned to her and in all sincerity..
I changed the subject!
I think it ended well though.
We chit-chatted about this and that
and got a much better understanding of each other.
In fact,
I learned that she is normal
and she learned that I am NOT!
My head felt like a pressure cooker ready to BLOW!
But being the martyr that I am,
I stayed!
(You're welcome peeps!)
As fatigue began to set in,
I noticed that O'Neill's center was near some seating.
I needed a rest, so I went and sat down next to another woman.
I recognized her from around school
but had never formally introduced myself.
"Hi!" I said in my usual friendly way!
She said "Hi" back
but with that kind of
"Oh, please don't talk to me"
body language that is impossible to miss.
I respected her silence... for a minute
but when that got boring
I asked her if she was a teacher or a parent?
"I'm a parent!" she said.
"Oh, who's your child?" I asked.
Her response surprised me!
Through the chaos of mumbled sound in my head, I heard her say...
"The girl with the FIN!"
Confused, I looked in the direction she was pointing!
At the end of the bench sat a girl from O'Neill's grade.
I call her "Khloe with a K"
We became friends when I was selling
Candy-grams as a fundraiser.
I had helped her fill out her grams
because she has some sort of defect with her right hand.
Actually, the defect is that she doesn't have a right hand.
Her arm is normal
but instead of a hand, her arm tapers down to a point.
Like one big finger.
I thought to myself...
Wow! How cool is that?
Here is a Mom who flat out owns her child's disability.
That takes incredible strength to just call it as it is...a FIN!
I have had friends in the past with children
who have had disabilities
and one common complaint that they have
is that people either treat them differently
or just ignore them altogether!
Both being equally painful!
So, I have learned to respectfully
follow the parents lead
and be open about disabilities!
In this case, I was super impressed
with this Mom's frankness
and felt like I should follow her lead
by letting her know that
I too was comfortable with her daughter's "fin".
So, innocently, with my head tilted to the side
and with a genuine smile on my face,
I repeated...out loud...with sound...
EXACTLY what I had heard her say,
"Oh! The girl with the FIN?"
For a split second, time froze!
Then, with eyes bulging and
veins popping from her temples,
the woman turned to me with a look of utter
SHOCK and AWE!
It was at that very moment that
I realized that I had indeed misheard her!
But it was too late!
There was no turning back!
From somewhere deep within her protective soul,
came a low, grumbling sound of total disgust...
"W-H-A-T?"
I couldn't breathe!
It felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs
"what?"
I whimpered,
sounding something like a seal being run over by a freight train!
In a surreal moment, the whole situation played back in my head.
I frantically scrambled as I realized the incredible error I had just made.
Innocently I asked,
"Did... did you just say the girl at the END?"
"Yes!" she snapped.
"What did you think I said?"
Well obviously she knew what I thought she said
because I said it back...
verbally, out loud, with sound coming from my mouth!
Then it started!
Against my better judgement
but without the ability to stop,
I proceeded with my ridiculous habit of
hyper-talking!
"I don't know what I heard! I'm congested! In fact, I shouldn't really be here. I'm sick! I have a fever! I should have really stayed home..."
She leaned away from me.
I continued...
"Oh...is your daughter Khloe with a K?
I have a Chloe but with a C.
She's in 5th grade
which is probably good because it would be
confusing to have too many
Chloe's in one grade... together.
Right? No? OK! Ha! Ha!
I met your Khloe with a K
doing the candy grams.
Did I mention that I'm PTO President?
Yeah! No? Ok! Uhm..."
All I can say,
is that there is absolutely nothing more humiliating
than having a person look at you
like you are a complete moron!
(Believe me, I know!)
At this point
My heart was racing,
I had the cold sweats and my ears were ringing...
The pressure was too intense!
Why did I get out of bed?
Exhausted, I stopped
and waited for something to save me!
Finally, out of total mercy,
she broke her death stare and looked away!
I was grateful.
I took a deep breathe and tried to regroup.
Then I turned to her and in all sincerity..
I changed the subject!
I think it ended well though.
We chit-chatted about this and that
and got a much better understanding of each other.
In fact,
I learned that she is normal
and she learned that I am NOT!
3 comments:
THAT was like reading Harry Potter! You can't read fast enough and want to skip all the facts to jump to the conclusion... does Dumbledore die? is Snape good or bad? My gosh Karen, what a real life nightmare! However, I am utterly confident that your personality and likability made it A-okay. But holy what?!? I may have perished on the spot if I was in your shoes!
I love that I can totally hear you telling this story!! I love it. :)
found your cute blog ~ thanks so much for the class tonight @ DL...you are all so amazing, fun & lovely ladies. enjoy your girls weekend w/ your sisters!!! keep on inspiring us --- you are all so fabulous!
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