Lindsay!

We have the most bizarre situation going on right now in our little town of Lindsay.
But before I can explain, you must know a few facts about the town I live in...

There are approximately 11,000 residents.
Probably 90% are Hispanic
and about 50% (maybe more) of that 90% are fieldworkers.
( I have NO idea how many are legal.)
It is very low income
and there are very few who actually can or will vote.

********************

10 years ago,
Lindsay was a little, somewhat abandoned town that looked totally neglected.
Commercial buildings, schools and houses were horribly maintained.
The roads and sidewalks were holed and uneven.
Most of the downtown businesses had long since moved away.
There was absolutely no reason to come to Lindsay.
This once bustling and charming city was ghostlike.

********************

7 years ago,
the Mayor and City Council made a brilliant move by hiring a new
City Manager named Scot Townsend.
He and his family lived in Lindsay and were actively immersed in the community.
He had worked for the City for many years
and not only knew what changes and improvements needed to be made,
but passionately believed that they could be achieved.

********************

4 years ago,
Jim brought me to Lindsay for the first time.
He had been offered a job here and really liked this little town.
I was unimpressed and afraid.
It was totally out of my comfort zone and
I felt like my children deserved a more inspiring place to spend their childhood.
I did not want to live here.

But then I met Scot.
He gave us a tour of Lindsay
and pointed out ALL of the improvements
that were scheduled to take place over the next 5 years.
He was excited, driven and enthusiastic about the future of this little town.
Although I couldn't totally imagine the transformation that he described
I liked him,
I trusted him,
and I believed in HIM!
He easily pulled Jim and me into his vision
and we gladly became residents of Lindsay, CA!

********************

2 months ago,
You would be amazed at how this city looks.
In the time that we've lived here
Scot has delivered everything he promised...
even during the recession!

We have a new library, swimming pool & Wellness Center.
Many of the roads are smooth and repaved
with a new, charming round-about in the center of town.
An old, dusty railroad yard has been transformed into Sweet Brier Plaza
with weekly Friday Night Markets
that draws thousands of people from all over the Valley to enjoy the events.
The downtown area has all new streets, sidewalks, lighting and landscaping.
Many of the storefronts have been given "face lifts!"
The Police and Fire departments have been upgraded!
The football and soccer fields have been transformed.
There's an amazing after school program for Middle and High School students.
Over 500 residents have been able to get into homes because of special City financing!
Jobs have been created
And last but not least (and I'm sure I've forgotten something)
 there's McDermont Fieldhouse...
an old, abandoned packing house that has been transformed into a sports complex extraordinaire!
Needless to say,
the results have far exceeded my expectations!

********************

Which brings me to today!
A few months ago,
one of the local newspapers wrote a controversial article
stating who the top paid public officials were in our County.
(Thank you City of Bell...grrrrrr!)
Several of our City Administration, including Scot, were on that list.
The problem with the article, however,
was that the newspaper posted ONLY the base income of all of the other city officials in the County
but posted the base income + benefits, Calpers (?), etc. of the Lindsay City officials.

That little snafu has caused an enormous uproar in our city.
Three disgruntled residents have spent the last month
trying to whip up the community of Lindsay against Scot.
They are misinformed and are constantly spreading lies about him and other City officials.
They have distributed flyer's stating,
"Our pesos are paying for his house!"
with pictures of his home and directions on how to find it.
They have threatened his family and
have been ruthless in their attempts to
minimize the progress that he has brought to this town.
 It's been horrific to watch!
I am appalled that such behavior is condoned by anybody!

But, enough is enough!
Tonight there is a special public forum
scheduled to address this situation
and to defend our friend and the best interest of the city that we love.

Some high school students made a video
that has been circulating via email and You Tube.
It supports the growth and progress of our City.
I have been impressed to see the younger generation
come forward and support Scot and the City as well!
Countless emails and messages have been popping up all over the place
 encouraging residents to come and support what's right!

This is my attempt to do the same.

The meeting is tonight @ 6:00pm
Lindsay High School Gym.
I'll see you there!

**On a lighter note...here is a little video from little, irreverent me.  For some reason this scene has been going through my head ALL DAY LONG!  I can't help myself.  Enjoy!** 

Chef Jimmy!

A few months ago

Jimmy announced

that he would like to go to

culinary school

and asked if I would support him in a

career change.

OVER MY DEAD KABOBS!

I replied.

But I told him

that I loved the idea of learning new things

and selflessly offered

to let him practice cooking

every single night

if he wanted.

Isn't that kind of me?

Lucky for us,

he actually is an amazing cook.

His food is super yummy and creative.

He's one of those

dump everything together

 and make it up as you go cooks.

It's always a treat to see what he comes up with.

I, on the other hand, am a recipe cooker.

The only problem with that

is that I only have about 10 recipes

that I rotate through

night after night

and

week after week.

Then if that's not bad enough,

I had a little ulcer debacle in high school

that has left me totally anti-spices.

I don't even pepper my food.

BLAH!

So my poor little family

has had no idea

what good food really tastes like,

until now!

It's no surprise to me that

when I cook
my kids plug their noses.

Remember this?

INGRATES!

But when the Jimmy cooks,

he has a full blown

 FAN CLUB!

FYI,

The kids do not gather like this when I cook.

Oh no!

I am a lone man in an empty kitchen.

But, as usual, every thing's a delicious party

when the Jimmy's involved!

So I say,

cook it up Jimmy!

Cook like there's no tomorrow!

and

I'm starting to think

that perhaps your next career whim

should involve

Message Therapy!

Just a suggestion, of course.

Toothache!

Little Sethie just crawled into bed with us.

He's bawling

and holding his right cheek.

He has a molar

that's just about to pop through his gums.

It hurts!

When I was 19
two of my wisdom teeth grew in.

Both on the left side.

I just remember

going through tube after tube of Anbisol

and wishing for DEATH
and
I'm NOT kidding!

It hurt

but gave me a very real understanding

of what it feels like to

sprout new teeth!

Poor boy!

He's back to sleep now

and I think

I'm going to go and cuddle him up
before all of his teeth grow in
 and he's too big to snuggle!

Sweet dreams! 



Signs

My tender-hearted Chloe
came wandering into my room Sunday night
at 11:30 PM!

"Mom!"  she said  "I have a weird feeling in my tummy!"

"Oh great!"  I groaned! 

 "Just make sure that when it comes up, you make it to the toilet!" 

 (once again, Mother of the Year!)

When she assured me that she didn't feel sick like that,

I was relieved! 

But then she explained that she felt

NERVOUS

because of her lesson at church that day.
(Never a good sign!)

Apparently, it was the ever light-hearted

 'SIGNS OF THE TIMES' lesson.
Oh great.

That Isaiah,  I'm telling ya! 

Couldn't he have sugar-coated that a little?

I mean really! 

I can only imagine how many nightmares
that topic has caused over the past
four thousandish years?

Sheesh!

Anyhow,
As she expressed her valid fears and worries,

I could totally sympathize
and told her the story about
me and the end of the world.

It seems like only yesterday

that the infamous Bruno brothers

announced to the entire third grade
that the world was going to end

the next day 
at
12:15 pm...

right at the end of lunch recess!

I cried myself to sleep that night .
I just couldn't believe that it was my last night on earth
in my bed,
with my toys
and near my family!

The next morning
when I left for the bus stop,

I vividly remember 

the stomach-wrenching pain that I felt

as I hugged my Mom goodbye

for what I thought would be 

the last time
here on earth!

School was a waste.
I was too terrified to concentrate.
I mean really,
when you're facing death
long division seems mundane!

When lunch recess finally rolled around,

a majority of us third graders swarmed together

in the middle of the field weeping

while

those rotten Bruno brothers

stood in the middle of the group

counting down!

10...9...8...

They shouted with New Years Eve excitement.

I clung to Becky Baer.

7...6...5...

Dread and paralyzing fear set in.  

I was far too young to face my own mortality!

4...3...2...

OH MY GOSH!

1!

I screamed!

Becky screamed!

Everyone screamed...

Until the lunch bell rang
 and it was time to go back to class. 

WHAT?!?

I was totally and completely confused.
Where was the
hellfire and brimstone?

And what about the
famine, pestilence and
rumors of war?

Come on...
I figured we at least deserved a good
earthquake
since we were in California!

(is that guy naked?  Anywho...)

But no...
NOTHING!

As I followed the herd of kids
back to the classrooms,
I felt a mixture of
blissful relief,
unparalleled exhaustion
 and unbridled anger!

Those good for nothin' Bruno boys
had dooped us once again.
Never again, I vowed!
Never again!

Chloe and I laughed at the silliness of it all.
So much for my lunchtime Armageddon!
Oh brother!

and speaking of...
I wonder what ever happened to those
rotten Bruno brothers?
I bet they're in prison...
or better yet,
maybe they're born again preachers...
in prison!

I don't know. 
But I bet they're still
ROTTEN!  

A poem.

T'is the night before school starts,

and all through our house

Every one is excited...

especially my spouse!

Our summer vacation

has flown by too fast!

Now it's back to a schedule

of reading and math!

We found out their teachers.

All have classes with buddies.

Oh what a relief!

This calmed 'jittery tummies'!

Now their backpacks are hanging

on hooks with great care.

While new shoes and clean clothes

are out, ready to wear.

We had a calm evening,

and after prayers up to heaven,

They climbed into bed

with alarms set for seven.

So now as I tip-toe

past their rooms for a peek,

My tender heart melts

as I kiss each little cheek.

Off to school they must go

leaving Mother behind!

I whisper a prayer

that the world will be kind!

Sweet dreams my dear children.

May this year be a blast!

I'm just not quite ready

for you to grow up so fast!

XoXo...

Mom.

The great rescue!

One day I came home

from playing at Stacy Michael's,

only to find the house empty.

Mom had gone to run an errand

and my older brother, Mike, was in the backyard.

We were alone.

(gulp)

When I went out to let him know that I was home,

I noticed that the pool cover was open

and

that he was sitting Indian-style next to the deep end

with his suitcase of Lego's open next to him!

Red Flag!

This was an unusual thing!

First, because Mike was in Middle school

and didn't play with Lego's anymore

and second, because

it was a strict, strict rule in our home that we

DO NOT OPEN THE POOL COVER 

without Mom or Dad's permission.

NEVER, EVER, NEVER!!!

(FYI, 4 out of 5 of us never broke that rule!)

So, to see Mike playing Lego's

by an open pool,

alone

 was alarming, to say the least!

I approached carefully and asked,

"What are you doing?"

Mike looked up and grunted.

(He wasn't one for words!)

"Why is the pool cover open?"

Again, "Grunt!"

(Which I knew meant,

"LEAVE ME ALONE!  I THINK YOU ARE

ANNOYING AND UGLY!")

"Why do you have Lego's?"

This time I didn't even get a grunt!

(I had obviously overstayed my welcome!)

I was super curious 

as Mike grabbed a Lego from the stash

and began to fidget with something in his hands.

I couldn't tell what he was doing!

Then, he tossed the object into the deep end!

"What was that?"

I asked with complete, little-annoying-sister curiosity!

He glanced at me with a look of
blissful mischief

then grabbed another Lego and started the process again!

When he tossed the second object into the pool,

I couldn't help myself

and knelt by the side

 to see what he was throwing in!

The water's freshly broken surface

was blurry and unclear.

I could make out several little
dots of color on the bottom of the pool...

Lego's, I presumed,

but there was something dark

attached to each colorful dot

that I could not recognize.

I waited patiently as the water began to settle.

Then, suddenly, I realized that the little dark 'things'

were in fact

FROGS!

We had a mini-infestation of

little, cute, adorable, green, hoppy froggies that summer.

They were all over our backyard!

I loved them.

I thought they were the neatest visitors we had ever had!

So you can only imagine my shock and horror

when I realized that my very own brother

was trying to drown them

using Lego pieces as

Anchors of Death!  

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I screamed.

"YOU'RE KILLING THE FROGGIES!"

I was distressed.

Mike was not.

He continued to

tie and toss...

tie and toss...

tie and toss!

"STOP!  STOP!"

I pleaded

as I watched the little frogs
trying to swim to the surface in vain!

Mike ignored my pleas
with pure and utter delight!

I went into rescue mode

and for a

very, very, very 

brief moment

I thought about snatching the Lego case away from Mike.

Luckily, however,

my better judgement got the best of me

and I quickly opted against that knowing that if I tried,

Mike would use that Lego case

to anchor ME to the bottom of the pool!

Plan Two... 

a life saving device!

Frantically, I ran around the pool deck

searching for the skimmer.

Where was it?

I went to it's normal resting spot but

it wasn't there!

Then I realized that it was sitting on the ground

right next to Mike.

Mike knew what I was after

and gave me a

 "Go Ahead, I dare you!" look.

I didn't dare.

With my little ten year-old heart pounding in my throat

and knowing that time was of the essence,

I made a split second decision

and dove, head first, into the deep end

clothes and all!

This posed a problem, however, 

because the second

strict, strict rule in our home was that we

DO NOT SWIM

without Mom or Dad's permission.

NEVER, EVER, NEVER!!!

But I didn't care!

I had to save the frogs,

regardless of the consequence.

I was pretty sure
Mom would understand!

Heroically,

I swam down and grabbed as many froggies

as I could until my lungs began to burn

and my head felt like it was going to explode.

Then I pushed off the bottom and 

dramatically burst out of the water gasping for air!

Holding the froggies close to my chest,

I flipped on my back and kicked my way to the steps in the shallow end.

With an armload of frogs,

I sat in the water

and tried to think

of a safe place to hide them... 

far away from Mike and his dreaded Legos! 

Mike looked unamused

as he continued to

tie and toss...

tie and toss...

tie and toss!

"Where should I hide these frogs?"

I asked myself.

Then, as if the heavens opened, the answer came...

hide them in

Mom's beautiful, wooden puzzle box

hand made from Indonesia

that's sitting in the front hall

on the new wooden floor!

Of course!

Mike would never find them there.

It was the perfect solution!

However,
this posed another problem 

because the third

strict, strict rule in our home was that we

DO NOT COME IN THE HOUSE WET

even with Mom or Dad's permission.

NEVER, EVER, NEVER!!!

Again, I knew Mom would understand,

this once,

and forged ahead

for the sake of the frogs!

I jumped out of the water

and sopping wet,

 sloshed my way through

 the family room, kitchen and entry hall

until I came to the puzzle box.

I knelt down,

on the wooden floor,

and crammed handfuls

of frogs and Legos

into each small wooden compartment.

I then carefully closed the lids and went back for more.

By the time Mike had finally lost interest

and moved on to his next destructive activity,

 the little wooden box was

bulging with frogs!

Knowing that I had done right by the world,

I changed my clothes

and cleaned up the puddles of water throughout the house.

When Mom got home,

she didn't notice a thing...

(that happens when you have 5 kids

and you're really tired!)

and I didn't think to tell her.

In fact, I forgot all about it

UNTIL

several months later

when Mom asked me to dust the puzzle box!

Then, it all came back...

the frogs

the Legos

the pool

the box!

OH NO!

I wept as I opened the tiny wooden compartments

and saw the carnage!

After all my efforts to save my friends,

 I ended up killing them myself.

Oh, the painful irony!

But, not to worry!

I have since forgiven myself

and believe that

frogs, children and summer

go hand in hand...

or hand in slimy flipper, 

you choose! 

Amphibian bliss!

Genetics!

It's been a long running joke

between me and my Sisters

that we got

Mom's nose

and

Dad's chest!

Now, it's fun to see

what traits my kids have inherited

from my good ol' Dad!

Chloe

got his "Hanson" looks!

He reminds her over and over again

how much she looks like

his sweet mother, Olga!

"What a beauty!" 

he always says
about the both of them.

O'Neill
got Dad's groove!

 

Every time a Fred Astaire movie comes on TV,

Dad says that Fred reminds him of himself,

"smooooth!"

Yep, O'Neill got his smoothness

that's for sure!

Seth

got Dad's smarts!

The kid can build and create just like his grandpa!

He eats, sleeps and breathes angles, space and design!

Definitely from Dad!

Then there's

Lulu.

She's still pretty young,

but I think she got Dad's,

uh..

Well, it's hard to say but I think maybe...

Yep!  I'm starting to think that she got his...

Sense of humor!

Oh, we love you Dad!

Thanks for letting us take a dip from your gene pool!

(Facial hair and all!)